The Australian Test vice-captain's comments came as Cameron McInnes claimed it felt like some infringements were called "for the sake of it", and Cronulla coach Craig Fitzgibbon vented over late-season decisions.
Melbourne's last-minute win over the Sharks on Saturday night was littered with 10 set restarts and eight penalties in the first half from referee Todd Smith, before they dried up.
The NRL's policing of the ruck and offsides has been a talking point all year, after a dramatic rise in set restarts coincided with an early-season points-scoring spree.
Restarts then dropped mid-season, but Grant said he remains confused with Melbourne's campaign now over.
"I think everyone in the game is getting quite frustrated with it. I know I am and I've talked to other players in the game," Grant said.
"You don't know what constitutes a quick play-the-ball and what constitutes a slow play-the-ball.
"And we're playing rugby league. We're not playing touch out there and sometimes it just feels like we are.
"No wonder we get so many people on report, all these penalties, it's because the game's getting to a pace where players are just doing their best.
"We need to collectively look at what that is and what we really want. Do we want to play touch football or rugby league? "
McInnes said he too was confused, just a week out from Cronulla's elimination final against North Queensland.
"You just don't know what you're going to get in a lot of the rucks," McInnes said.
"I've been playing that game a long time and I couldn't tell you what the (infringements) are for.
"Then you run the ball and then the same thing happens to you and it doesn't get called.
"I know it's hard for the ref, but sometimes it just feels like it's for the sake of it."
Cronulla were left fuming when a forward pass from Nick Meaney was cleared in the lead up to Melbourne's first try on Saturday night.
The bunker also overturned Smith's on-field decision to rule Sua Fa'alogo got Melbourne's second try down just inside the dead-ball line.
Adding to their frustration was the NRL's admission the bunker was wrong to overturn an Addin Fonua-Blake try and rule the Shark had been held up.
"If you don't know what a forward pass looks like at this current point in your career, I don't know either," Fitzgibbon vented to media.
"How many times have you seen a referee call a try and the bunker overturn the call ... That's two in two weeks.
"I don't want to (sook) because I don't want to challenge the integrity of the game. But I'd like to see the integrity of the game remain what it should be.
"A forward pass is a forward pass. And if you're going to back the referee, back the referee.
"But don't back him some weeks and then turn around the week after and don't do it."
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