October 14, 2021. It’s a date that will forever be burned into the memories of Michelle and Tony Smith and their families.
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It is the day their 13 year-old son Will died by suicide.
And while they still struggle with the loss every single day, Michelle and Tony also know how important it is for people to know about Will.
Not only to keep the “vibrant” young man alive in everyone’s memories, but also in the hopes that his story might encourage others to be aware of the signs of mental health decline and reach out for help.
Six months after their son’s death, Michelle and Tony made the decision to sign up for Lifeline Australia’s 10,000 Steps A Day In May challenge.
And while chipping away at their steps, the couple decided they could go one better.
On Sunday, they took on a 25km trek between Tocumwal and Finley to raise more awareness and funding.
They did so in Will’s memory, but also in honour of all those who tried to help him in October.
“On Friday night we saw our fundraising total was in the $7000 range, and we really wanted to make a push and get over $10,000.
“So on Sunday we decided we would walk 25km in one day.
“The distance is our way of thanking the 25 people who were there on the day Will died and who were trying to help save his life. We were so grateful to every person who was involved.
“As parents who lost their child, we received fantastic support from the community. But those people also have to deal with what happened that day, after they went home to their own families.
“This was our way of letting people know they deserve the love and respect too.”
That last push far exceeded the couple’s expectations, with Tony and Michelle’s fundraising tally sitting at more than $20,000 at the time of going to print yesterday.
The couple set out from Tocumwal at 9am Sunday, with a small group of supporters joining them for a short distance.
The pair then traversed the highway on their own over five hours, and were met by another group of supporters at Finley for the last leg.
As the distance between Tocumwal and Finley is 22.4km, the couple threw in a few laps of the Finley football oval to bring it up to 25km
“We could barely move Sunday night and we used a lot of Deep Heat, but it was well worth it,” Michelle said.
“Our main goal was to raise awareness, and help reduce the stigma of suicide.
“Will was the whole reason we chose to take part.
“He was the light of our lives - the smartest, cheekiest young man we will ever meet.”
Will’s decline in mental health stemmed from a football injury earlier last year.
He was receiving mental health support at the time of his death.
“So many people tell us they never expected it because Will because was so vibrant, but that’s why it is important we have these conversations and reduce the stigma around suicide,” Michelle said.
“In truth, Will struggled for a long time. But we were still blind sided because he was getting help and we were seeing some improvement.
“Will broke his ankle in a practice match at footy.
“He was always so active, and we went through so many stoppers on his crutches because of that.
“He still went to practices and to games, but he did start to feel isolated because he could not participate.
“We noticed the decline in his mental health when he started to withdraw at footy, and with the family. He was bottling everything up.
“We did seek help and we thought it was working, but it clearly wasn’t.
“It did not work for Will, but that does not mean you shouldn’t reach out for help.
“We have got to get to our kids early - to make sure they hear they are worthwhile and loved before they get into their own heads.”
Michelle said the Dolly’s Dream website was a great source of information during Will’s struggles, and also encouraged people to look at the resources available on the Lifeline website.
She said the information is not only helpful for those struggling with their own mental health, but could also help you identify if a loved one needs help.
She particularly praised the decision for mental health organisations to offer texting and online chat service, which she said may prompt more young people to seek help.
“By doing this challenge and sharing our story, we wanted to let people know that it’s okay to have a bad time, and that it is okay to ask for help,” Michelle said.
“It is worth reaching out and speaking to someone - while it is the charity we chose to support, it does not have to be Lifeline.”
Need crisis support?
Lifeline - Call 13 11 44, text 0477 13 11 44 or go to www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/.
Accessline - Call 1800 800 944.
Suicide Call Back Service - Call 1300 659 467 or go to www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au to access shat or video counselling services..
BeyondBlue - Call 1300 224 636 or go to www.beyondblue.org.au/support-service/chat to shat online.
Kids Helpline - Call 1800 551 800 or go to www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling to chat online.
Senior journalist