Motherhood shifts focus

What has been the most surprising thing about being a mother so far?

Since having my daughter, I’ve become selfless and caring and have learnt to put myself second. No matter which physical or mental state I am in, I have to show up for my child, and I’ve really surprised myself with how much I’ve changed for my daughter.

What are some of your favourite moments with your daughter?

I love breastfeeding her because I only get to see her expressions and the cute little faces she makes while feeding and trying to fall asleep. I also love her little hands and feet touching me in the process.

It’s a very personal and special moment for me every day. Other than that, I love nappy change times; I love reading to her in her nursery, having her on my lap, interacting with her in baby language, kissing and cuddling her, and dressing her up in cute little outfits.

How do you balance taking care of yourself and your child?

I’m pretty blessed that I have a lot of help around me. They say you need a village to raise a child, and I’m glad I have a strong village. My mother-in-law and my husband are my biggest support, and they are both very hands-on with my daughter and ensure that I always get the rest I need. My parents and sisters are less than a five-minute walk from my house; they always step in whenever required.

What advice would you give to other new mothers?

The first three months with your newborn are usually the hardest because you are trying to figure out how to be a mother and be there for them while dealing with all the changes around you, and during those times, you’ll likely feel like you are deep down in the trenches and may never make it out.

However, I promise you’ll get through every challenge your baby throws at you and come out of it stronger. Babies grow out of everything as they adjust and adapt to the world, so try to enjoy it all, even when it seems hard. Ask for help and get some me-time because you are human too.

Is there anything you wish you had known before becoming a mother?

I wish I had known how difficult breastfeeding is at the start. I feel like it’s something that’s not spoken about enough. I’m grateful to the lactation consultants and my older sister for talking me through it, and I’ve grown to love it, but it was very painful and challenging at the start, and I definitely shed some tears. I felt like I was failing, but I’ve become stronger on the other end.

How has your relationship with your partner evolved since becoming parents?

Our relationship has definitely become stronger, and our challenges during the newborn stage of our daughter’s life have brought us closer.

I appreciate him even more now and love watching him play and interact with our daughter. It’s amazing to see him being a dad every day, and he says he loves watching me being a mum, so I think it’s made us fall in love with each other even more.

What are you most proud of as a mother?

Putting my daughter first before anything else in life, selflessly caring for her and her needs, focusing on raising a healthy and happy child, and giving her my 100 per cent attention and effort.

What are your hopes and dreams for your child’s future?

I hope my daughter grows up to be kind, caring, and confident enough to tackle anything in life. I would love for her to do something in the fashion world because I love fashion, haha, but in all honesty, her dreams will become mine. I would just be happy watching her live her dreams.

Can you share some aspects of your Indian culture that are particularly meaningful to you and your family?

Our families come from a state in India called Punjab, which makes us Punjabi, so we follow the Punjabi culture, and we love many things about it. One of the most meaningful aspects is our Punjabi language, and we love speaking that at home, particularly with the elders in the family.

We also really like dressing up in our traditional clothes, and our wardrobes are full of them. Lastly, we also love our cuisine, and it’s definitely comfort food for us.

How do you celebrate traditional Indian holidays with your family, and what significance do these celebrations hold for you?

One of the main holidays we celebrate is called Diwali, where we all dress up in Indian clothes, buy sweets and presents for each other and decorate the house with candles and flowers. On the day, we do a small prayer at home with family members, go to the Sikh temple (Gurudwara), light a candle, sit around at home and enjoy the feast with the family.

I could go into the detailed history behind this festival, but the short version is that it marks the win of good over evil. The other we like to celebrate is called Rakhri, where the sisters tie a thread around their brother’s wrist, which signifies a strengthening of the sibling’s bond, which is quite beautiful, and in turn, the sisters get presents from the brothers.

Do you consider any specific values from your heritage important to instil in your daughter as she grows up?

One of the values I want to instil in her is to be hospitable. We love welcoming people into our homes with open hearts, and I want this warmth to continue with her.

The other one is respect, being respectful towards everyone, whether someone is younger or older and respecting other people’s opinions and beliefs. Lastly, I would want her to have a sense of community and family unity.

How do you balance preserving your Indian cultural identity and integrating into the broader society and local community?

I think the balance started from a young age and came very naturally, and it’s just the way of life for me. I uphold my traditional values and beliefs when it comes to certain things, and at the same time, I embrace the Western influence in my life, too. I have a good sense of my identity, so it helps me not lose sight of my Indian values and keep up with the modern ones.

How do you incorporate elements of Indian cuisine, language or arts into your family life, and why are these important to you?

Well, we cook and eat Indian food every week. We speak Punjabi at home, especially with our parents and grandparents, and that’s quite important to me because I just love family members sitting around and sharing stories about their lives and joking around in our language.

I personally also love Punjabi/Indian music, and it’s what plays in my car all the time. It’s also a huge part of our parties and events; everybody enjoys dancing to those tunes.

How do you envision your daughter embracing her Indian heritage as she grows and navigates her way through life?

I hope my daughter embraces our culture confidently because she’s proud of her skin colour, speaks the language, loves dressing up in traditional clothes for our events and parties, and dances to classic tunes because nothing is more fun than that.